LOTS to tell too. We've been busy. Our holidays were great. We had family and friends to share them with. The kids had a great time and got everything on their wishlists. Rhiannon was very excited to get some fur real pets from Granddaddy and a sewing machine from Nana and Papa. She was also excited to get a beautiful sweater that my mom made her. She was happy to get a card making kit with tons of stuff for embellishing cards. She also got a great Hannah Montana game for the Wii that she got right to playing! Connor was thrilled to get a chess board and some Wii games. He was also very happy to get the boys easy bake oven that makes creepy crawly bugs. It soon stopped working but all the stuff works in other things. He also got a digital camera from Nana, Papa, Mommy and Tommy and he was IN LOVE. He is thrilled to take pics of whatever he can! Alanna was on cloud nine with her diney faeries toy. She also got a tinkerbell alarm clock from Granddaddy. She was super excited to play with her new fancy nancy game too! There were almost 60 toys in my house on Christmas day and I have to say, we were all very happy and had a great day.
Soon after Christmas, January 10th, Me and all the kids got baptized! It was a glorious event that took place. It made me very happy. We are all within the body of Christ and within his Grace always. It makes me feel at peace to know I have done something right for me and my kids that no one can take away. I hope everyone can find that somewhere. We had all of our family and friends there. It was wonderful. We had a small get together afterwards at my parents house and it was very pleasant. The church makes banners for each of the baptized and we hung them in our foyer. Now everyone will be able to smile at them when they enter our home.
On a more somber note, Bill is getting worse and was back in the hospital for a week. His pain is becoming less managable. They moved him back to the rehab. center he has been staying at but he is having a harder time. It is a sad fact that the end is in fact in sight. He is at peace and embracing his immanet passing quite gracefully but it doesn't make it less sad. Will and I are trying to talk to Connor about it more regularly and remind him that Granddaddy will not get better. Connor has been hoping that he will and this is just not possible as the cancer has spread to the bones and is overtaking his body at an alarming rate. We can only hope for as much comfort as possible now. And that is where we have been lately.
Love and Hugs to you all!
Chelley
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Monday, December 22, 2008
Long time... I know....
Sorry for the long time in between posts. I didn't realize it had been so long actually. Well Christmas is coming in a few days and I am super excited! Santa has treated my kids well this year. They don't know it yet but I do. Santa and I talk ya know....=o)
And ya know the song "I saw mama kissing Santa Claus"? Well I just recently got that song. Yea I know rather blonde of me but it happens. But anyways, I started thinking, Ok, so Santa is typically daddy and daddy helps mommy do the shopping and the wrapping and the hiding of the presents and is all happy and jolly. Well not in our house. That's all me. I'm the fat and happy one. I'm the one who wraps and hides gifts. I'm the one who gets the gifts and brings them into the house on Christmas eve. I'm the one who shops for everything. I'm the one who puts everything under the tree. And if I ask my husband to do any of these things I get met with some grumpy annoying answer that leads me to realize I was better off doing it by myself. So although I love the holidays, that song is just wrong. Mama isn't kissing Santa Claus.... Daddy is kissing Santa Claus. And while we're on the topic of that song I should mention that the reason it got to me to begin with is b/c there is a version of the song where the kid says, I did, I really saw it. And I'm telling my dad. And I laughed b/c I got it. So that is my new thing for the season.
Lets see... We've been blessed with some nice things this season. We have a friend at church who bought each of our children something just b/c she loves them and cares about them. She just wanted to and felt the desire to spread her love to them. We had a very generous gift from my father in law for all three of our children while Connor and I were visiting him. And my aunt and uncle and my grandmother all were gracious in their giving to our children this year. I couldn't ask for better or more from my family this year. They have all been there and been supportive of us.
We have been making ornaments this year so there are quite a few homemade ornaments on our tree this year. The kids and I have made about 30-40 Christmas mice. We made them with their friends as well. Oh and I made a wreath for my car this year! WOO HOO! Now if I could only get Tommy to put it on my car. He is such a scrooge! Hopefully he will be happier on Christmas. We can hope for the best. He will have what looks to be a half day tomorrow and then will be off on Christmas eve, Christmas day and the day after Christmas. The bad thing is he doesn't get paid for it so we will be hurting come pay day. I really do like having him around but not having any money to go with it hurts. We can't pay our bills as it is. Ah well. I will enjoy the time with him here b/c it will end soon enough.
Now I'm going to go and turn up the heat and get my kids into bed so I can finish folding up some laundry and whatnot so I can relax a bit. I still have to make a bunch of things for Christmas day. It's not so bad when you get to have the holiday at your house. You know what food you are going to get and you know how much of it will be there too! Christmas is my favorite.
Love and Hugs,
Chelley
Merry Christmas!!!!
And ya know the song "I saw mama kissing Santa Claus"? Well I just recently got that song. Yea I know rather blonde of me but it happens. But anyways, I started thinking, Ok, so Santa is typically daddy and daddy helps mommy do the shopping and the wrapping and the hiding of the presents and is all happy and jolly. Well not in our house. That's all me. I'm the fat and happy one. I'm the one who wraps and hides gifts. I'm the one who gets the gifts and brings them into the house on Christmas eve. I'm the one who shops for everything. I'm the one who puts everything under the tree. And if I ask my husband to do any of these things I get met with some grumpy annoying answer that leads me to realize I was better off doing it by myself. So although I love the holidays, that song is just wrong. Mama isn't kissing Santa Claus.... Daddy is kissing Santa Claus. And while we're on the topic of that song I should mention that the reason it got to me to begin with is b/c there is a version of the song where the kid says, I did, I really saw it. And I'm telling my dad. And I laughed b/c I got it. So that is my new thing for the season.
Lets see... We've been blessed with some nice things this season. We have a friend at church who bought each of our children something just b/c she loves them and cares about them. She just wanted to and felt the desire to spread her love to them. We had a very generous gift from my father in law for all three of our children while Connor and I were visiting him. And my aunt and uncle and my grandmother all were gracious in their giving to our children this year. I couldn't ask for better or more from my family this year. They have all been there and been supportive of us.
We have been making ornaments this year so there are quite a few homemade ornaments on our tree this year. The kids and I have made about 30-40 Christmas mice. We made them with their friends as well. Oh and I made a wreath for my car this year! WOO HOO! Now if I could only get Tommy to put it on my car. He is such a scrooge! Hopefully he will be happier on Christmas. We can hope for the best. He will have what looks to be a half day tomorrow and then will be off on Christmas eve, Christmas day and the day after Christmas. The bad thing is he doesn't get paid for it so we will be hurting come pay day. I really do like having him around but not having any money to go with it hurts. We can't pay our bills as it is. Ah well. I will enjoy the time with him here b/c it will end soon enough.
Now I'm going to go and turn up the heat and get my kids into bed so I can finish folding up some laundry and whatnot so I can relax a bit. I still have to make a bunch of things for Christmas day. It's not so bad when you get to have the holiday at your house. You know what food you are going to get and you know how much of it will be there too! Christmas is my favorite.
Love and Hugs,
Chelley
Merry Christmas!!!!
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Christmas cards and whatnot....
So I was making a Christmas card for whatever I give out on Christmas day to family and I decided to let the kids make cards when they came home from school. I had Megan and Zach today too so I thought it would be a fun craft idea. It was very fun in the end however Connor seemed to think that everyone and their cat was out to hurt him and make him unhappy this afternoon. All he did was whine and cry and complain about how Meg took what he wanted and how he didn't like what he had done on his card. It was a disaster for him. I was calm.... for most of the afternoon. Until Megan finished her homework and even Rhiannon had started hers and he was STILL whining and crying 2 hours later. Then I started yelling at him. I couldn't take it anymore. I was done! So I told him that he was going to bed early, like when we got back from taking Rhiannon to girl scouts.... since I don't bring her home, he is taking a shower and going to bed. I can't take his whining and crying anymore. And meanwhile through all of it he still made me smile....
Tommy's favorite Christmas song ever came on.... Little drummer boy. And they explained who was singing it and the name of the song. And I said oh, this is Tommy's favorite song. I'm looking at Connor and he is looking at me and he says, Why are you looking at me? I'm not a drama boy! And I just giggled and said the name of the song is little DRUMMER boy and yes you are a drama boy, more than any I know. It was cute and in his hysterics today it made for a nice break in the monotony of Connor's typical day lately.
The rest of the kids had a lot of fun with the cards and stuff. They made nice little creations. Alanna scissored hers to bits and we still put it in an envelop to give to Santa on Christmas eve night. Rhiannon made a card inside a little card with great little pictures in it. And Connor actually ended up making two cards. One for Mr. and Mrs. Claus and one for the reindeer I believe. But tell him that reindeer is spelt rEindeer instead of rAindeer and we have another meltdown on our hands. =o)
Ah, such is life with young children. You've got to love them or you might have to just drown them! Especially when you are highly stressed with no husband around to hug you and love you and tell you how wonderful you are. And how great the house looks and how much he knows you are trying your best even when you feel like you can't give anymore! Or just to help you pick up around the house when you really just want to sit down and have a fucking break. No censoring here today. I want a break. And I can't wait until the kids school break starts b/c that means I get a break. I don't have to get up early, I don't have to run to drop off or pick up anyone. I can sit around in my PJ's for half the day or the whole day if I want. It's just the kind of thing I've been waiting for. A time to enjoy my kids with no other kids that aren't mine around without my ok on that particular day, like today. I said yes to Meg and Zach so they were here. However, just my kids sounds awesome! Making Christmas cookies and working on getting Christmas dinner together sounds good too. I'm awaiting Santa Claus.... I hope you are too. Even Santa knows I need a break now. Well I must go and make dinner and usher the kids out the door b/c there is girl scouts tonight. Wahoo! I don't do pick-up, just drop-off. I love having friends. It's nice to share the responsibility of any parental duty. And this one is welcomed!
Love and Hugs,
Chelley
Tommy's favorite Christmas song ever came on.... Little drummer boy. And they explained who was singing it and the name of the song. And I said oh, this is Tommy's favorite song. I'm looking at Connor and he is looking at me and he says, Why are you looking at me? I'm not a drama boy! And I just giggled and said the name of the song is little DRUMMER boy and yes you are a drama boy, more than any I know. It was cute and in his hysterics today it made for a nice break in the monotony of Connor's typical day lately.
The rest of the kids had a lot of fun with the cards and stuff. They made nice little creations. Alanna scissored hers to bits and we still put it in an envelop to give to Santa on Christmas eve night. Rhiannon made a card inside a little card with great little pictures in it. And Connor actually ended up making two cards. One for Mr. and Mrs. Claus and one for the reindeer I believe. But tell him that reindeer is spelt rEindeer instead of rAindeer and we have another meltdown on our hands. =o)
Ah, such is life with young children. You've got to love them or you might have to just drown them! Especially when you are highly stressed with no husband around to hug you and love you and tell you how wonderful you are. And how great the house looks and how much he knows you are trying your best even when you feel like you can't give anymore! Or just to help you pick up around the house when you really just want to sit down and have a fucking break. No censoring here today. I want a break. And I can't wait until the kids school break starts b/c that means I get a break. I don't have to get up early, I don't have to run to drop off or pick up anyone. I can sit around in my PJ's for half the day or the whole day if I want. It's just the kind of thing I've been waiting for. A time to enjoy my kids with no other kids that aren't mine around without my ok on that particular day, like today. I said yes to Meg and Zach so they were here. However, just my kids sounds awesome! Making Christmas cookies and working on getting Christmas dinner together sounds good too. I'm awaiting Santa Claus.... I hope you are too. Even Santa knows I need a break now. Well I must go and make dinner and usher the kids out the door b/c there is girl scouts tonight. Wahoo! I don't do pick-up, just drop-off. I love having friends. It's nice to share the responsibility of any parental duty. And this one is welcomed!
Love and Hugs,
Chelley
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Cruxshadows show and other stuff...
So the show was awesome! It was a long night for someone who doesn't go out like they used to all those years ago. I felt so old and tired. I loved dancing and singing.... or more like yelling.... and I loved that Tommy and I had a night out. I slept most of the next day on and off. It was weird. I remember going out and being able to do whatever I wanted the next day. And this time, I was tired, really tired. We got to go out to eat and had a nice meal. We get to Alley Katz where the show was and the place was supposed to open at 8 but the bands are still doing sound checks. They let us into the stairwell and make us wait there until 9:15. We waited for what felt like forever but finally got let in. Tommy and I both wanted to have a drink but that didn't happen b/c the place we went to only served beer. That really sucked.... neither one of us drinks beer. So no drinks for us! We had water instead. We adapt easily.
I: Scintilla and Aryia were the opening bands. They were good. Kind of stompy but good nonetheless. I did very little dancing until the Cruxshadows came out. Tommy didn't realize that CXS wouldn't go on until about midnight and by that time he was done and ready to go home. I tried to warn him it would be a LATE night but I guess warnings fell on deaf ears b/c he started to get cranky. People were packed into the front of the stage like sardines and there was a big open space in the back. Although we could have spread out, we didn't. When you want to see a band that badly, you stay up front. I was essentially in the second row, stage right. It was hugely awesome to touch Rogue's hand while he sang. This time I did not dance with him when he came out into the crowd. I did however wait until they did their encore and finsihed with Marylin, my Bitterness..... when he pulls up a few people on stage to sing and dance with him. I asked Tommy if he wanted to go and he said no.... I threw my jacket at him and went on over there. Rogue pulled me up on stage, I smacked my head on a HUGE speaker and I danced my heart out and sang Marylin! The kids thought it was awesome when they asked if I got to dance with Rogue and I said, Yes!
Unfortunately my camera died so I only have about 4 pictures from the show. It was a very bad move on my part to not charge the battery. For that, I'm a dummy. BUT, there is good things for those who don't think ahead! I asked Rogue if he could do me a huge favor. He asked what it was. I told him how much my kids love them and how my camera died. I asked if he would sign a piece of paper for them that I had. He said how about this, let me give you a poster, on me and I'll write something to them and you can get the whole band to sign it? I was shocked and grateful! He said it would take him a few to get back to the table but that he would get there eventually. And while the bouncer threw out almost everyone, he let Tommy and I stay so we could do what Rogue promised. We got everyone's signature but the two dancers. Although sad they were busy elsewhere. The kids are thrilled with the poster which is signed to Connor, Rhiannon and Alanna. We are going to frame it and put it up in our living room.
The night was long and tiring. I bought three CDs, 3 bracelets which were supposed to be for the kids, and two buttons. They price things cheap so you can get a lot for a little. It was a great night that Tommy and I both agreed we should try and do with the kids at Dragoncon.... a comic convention in Atlanta, Ga. that comes around the last weekend in Aug./first weekend in Sept. right before school starts. It's the only all ages show that we know of that we can get to. The kids have been dying to go to a Cruxshadows show and although Rogue warned me that they go on late, like midnight..... Our kids would be so excited I don't think they would care! To be able to say they got to see mommy's favorite band, a band they themselves really like, live!!! They would be thrilled! So our hope is to swing that this summer if we can stay on track. It will be our family trip... to the new aquarium, the con and the CXS show and home again in time for school to start. Wahoo!
So the weekend started off exciting!!! And then it was Connor's birthday!!! He turned 8! And yes although this saddens me greatly that my little boy is 8, he had a wonderful day. He has chosed to go to California Pizza Kitchen for his birthday dinner/lunch the last 3 years and my parents always oblige. So this year it was us, my parents and Will. It was a nice change of pace. Last year he had about 25 people at dinner. It was what he wanted and we of course said yes. This year we kept it small. Connor got a load of drawing and at supplies. He also got a couple of video games. He got a couple of Beastquest books to round out the series he is reading. I think he has all of them now. He is a very happy boy. This friday he will be having a sleepover party with a few friends to celebrate his birthday as well. He can't wait! So far there is 6 boys including him. There could be 10 so pray for me! My little boy is growing up.... I can't swaddle him anymore.... I miss that. What a big boy he is becoming. If he doesn't stop growing soon I'm going to have to stunt his growth! =o) The deal was he was supposed to stay little.... he isn't holding up his end of the bargain here!
Ah well the holidays are upon us and I can't help but think of what our holiday plans are. We have a Christmas dinner every year where we invite our family and another family to come and join us on Christmas day. We go to church on Christmas eve and have a lovely time. I can't wait! It's been a rough year so I'm looking for some good holiday cheer right about now. We'll plan on having people over in the late afternoon and having a nice evening with whomever decides to hang out with us. It's always nice to relax on Christmas night after Santa has turned my house upside down and made my kids jump for joy all day long! I love the magic of Christmas and I can't wait for this one! It's starting.... I see the sprinkling.... now I just hope it snows too! Wouldn't that just make it the most perfect Christmas ever?!
We have a tree with multi-colored lights... not MY first choice but Tommy and the kids love it so it stays, this year. Plus I didn't want to still be cleaning up pine needles on Mother's Day! They are in my car and in my house and everywhere when we get a real tree but oh the wonderful smell of them! I love that smell. Anyways, if you want to join our Christmas cheer please let me know! We are looking forward to a very happy holiday!
Soon after Christmas we are going straight into our family baptism. Connor, Rhiannon, Alanna and I are all getting baptized. Tommy isn't ready for that leap yet and that's ok I suppose however the rest of us are going to be baptized in early January. The kids and I need to pick up Marianne from NY and then we need to come back. We need to get things in order so that all of the people who will be god parents can be here and be accounted for. Unfortunately some of them are already not able to make it. However we are working on alternates to help out there. And we are working hard to make sure that the kids and I are baptized during this time. We are excited about it and it's time for it to happen! Eternal grace is awaiting.... and I'm not waiting to accept it any longer and neither are our children!
Well I think I've done enough rambling for now. Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. Ours was nice. We had two Thanksgiving dinners, neither of which we had to bring anything to. And we enjoyed them both! We make up for this when we cook for Christmas.... =o)
Love and Hugs,
Chelley
I: Scintilla and Aryia were the opening bands. They were good. Kind of stompy but good nonetheless. I did very little dancing until the Cruxshadows came out. Tommy didn't realize that CXS wouldn't go on until about midnight and by that time he was done and ready to go home. I tried to warn him it would be a LATE night but I guess warnings fell on deaf ears b/c he started to get cranky. People were packed into the front of the stage like sardines and there was a big open space in the back. Although we could have spread out, we didn't. When you want to see a band that badly, you stay up front. I was essentially in the second row, stage right. It was hugely awesome to touch Rogue's hand while he sang. This time I did not dance with him when he came out into the crowd. I did however wait until they did their encore and finsihed with Marylin, my Bitterness..... when he pulls up a few people on stage to sing and dance with him. I asked Tommy if he wanted to go and he said no.... I threw my jacket at him and went on over there. Rogue pulled me up on stage, I smacked my head on a HUGE speaker and I danced my heart out and sang Marylin! The kids thought it was awesome when they asked if I got to dance with Rogue and I said, Yes!
Unfortunately my camera died so I only have about 4 pictures from the show. It was a very bad move on my part to not charge the battery. For that, I'm a dummy. BUT, there is good things for those who don't think ahead! I asked Rogue if he could do me a huge favor. He asked what it was. I told him how much my kids love them and how my camera died. I asked if he would sign a piece of paper for them that I had. He said how about this, let me give you a poster, on me and I'll write something to them and you can get the whole band to sign it? I was shocked and grateful! He said it would take him a few to get back to the table but that he would get there eventually. And while the bouncer threw out almost everyone, he let Tommy and I stay so we could do what Rogue promised. We got everyone's signature but the two dancers. Although sad they were busy elsewhere. The kids are thrilled with the poster which is signed to Connor, Rhiannon and Alanna. We are going to frame it and put it up in our living room.
The night was long and tiring. I bought three CDs, 3 bracelets which were supposed to be for the kids, and two buttons. They price things cheap so you can get a lot for a little. It was a great night that Tommy and I both agreed we should try and do with the kids at Dragoncon.... a comic convention in Atlanta, Ga. that comes around the last weekend in Aug./first weekend in Sept. right before school starts. It's the only all ages show that we know of that we can get to. The kids have been dying to go to a Cruxshadows show and although Rogue warned me that they go on late, like midnight..... Our kids would be so excited I don't think they would care! To be able to say they got to see mommy's favorite band, a band they themselves really like, live!!! They would be thrilled! So our hope is to swing that this summer if we can stay on track. It will be our family trip... to the new aquarium, the con and the CXS show and home again in time for school to start. Wahoo!
So the weekend started off exciting!!! And then it was Connor's birthday!!! He turned 8! And yes although this saddens me greatly that my little boy is 8, he had a wonderful day. He has chosed to go to California Pizza Kitchen for his birthday dinner/lunch the last 3 years and my parents always oblige. So this year it was us, my parents and Will. It was a nice change of pace. Last year he had about 25 people at dinner. It was what he wanted and we of course said yes. This year we kept it small. Connor got a load of drawing and at supplies. He also got a couple of video games. He got a couple of Beastquest books to round out the series he is reading. I think he has all of them now. He is a very happy boy. This friday he will be having a sleepover party with a few friends to celebrate his birthday as well. He can't wait! So far there is 6 boys including him. There could be 10 so pray for me! My little boy is growing up.... I can't swaddle him anymore.... I miss that. What a big boy he is becoming. If he doesn't stop growing soon I'm going to have to stunt his growth! =o) The deal was he was supposed to stay little.... he isn't holding up his end of the bargain here!
Ah well the holidays are upon us and I can't help but think of what our holiday plans are. We have a Christmas dinner every year where we invite our family and another family to come and join us on Christmas day. We go to church on Christmas eve and have a lovely time. I can't wait! It's been a rough year so I'm looking for some good holiday cheer right about now. We'll plan on having people over in the late afternoon and having a nice evening with whomever decides to hang out with us. It's always nice to relax on Christmas night after Santa has turned my house upside down and made my kids jump for joy all day long! I love the magic of Christmas and I can't wait for this one! It's starting.... I see the sprinkling.... now I just hope it snows too! Wouldn't that just make it the most perfect Christmas ever?!
We have a tree with multi-colored lights... not MY first choice but Tommy and the kids love it so it stays, this year. Plus I didn't want to still be cleaning up pine needles on Mother's Day! They are in my car and in my house and everywhere when we get a real tree but oh the wonderful smell of them! I love that smell. Anyways, if you want to join our Christmas cheer please let me know! We are looking forward to a very happy holiday!
Soon after Christmas we are going straight into our family baptism. Connor, Rhiannon, Alanna and I are all getting baptized. Tommy isn't ready for that leap yet and that's ok I suppose however the rest of us are going to be baptized in early January. The kids and I need to pick up Marianne from NY and then we need to come back. We need to get things in order so that all of the people who will be god parents can be here and be accounted for. Unfortunately some of them are already not able to make it. However we are working on alternates to help out there. And we are working hard to make sure that the kids and I are baptized during this time. We are excited about it and it's time for it to happen! Eternal grace is awaiting.... and I'm not waiting to accept it any longer and neither are our children!
Well I think I've done enough rambling for now. Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. Ours was nice. We had two Thanksgiving dinners, neither of which we had to bring anything to. And we enjoyed them both! We make up for this when we cook for Christmas.... =o)
Love and Hugs,
Chelley
Sunday, November 23, 2008
The house is cleaner....
Can't complain about that! Tommy and I cleaned the floors and cleaned the playroom this weekend. It was a good weekend. We had a nice evening at church and saw my parents for a little while. It really was kind of stress free. I like weekends like this. And to top it off since it's a holiday week the people at work have decided not to send my husband away this week! So he will be home every evening!!!!!! YAY! And then we will have two Thanksgiving dinners and then come home. And Tommy will have a 4 day weekend. It will be so nice. I can already see it. The house is almost in order so I'm not stressing that. I can make some Christmas cards. My favorite band will be in town this coming friday and my mom is watching the kids for us so that we can go see them. It will be our first night out together in probably a year. And we will capitalize on it for sure! I'm having a drink everybody! I think I deserve it. One drink in a year is about all I have so I'm about to work that into my one night of freedom. I'll let you all know how that goes. Since I'm working on a plan to have a night alone with my husband! WOO HOO. I'm looking forward to that. Anyways, thats all for tonight. It was a good day and now there is a clean playroom to go with that day. I'm going to curl up on the couch with my husband and youngest daughter for a while and watch some TV and maybe get to folding some clothes. As long as we can keep up on the clothes this week will stay just as good as this weekend!
Love and Hugs,
Chelley
Love and Hugs,
Chelley
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Depression sucks....
Depression has set in around here. And it sucks. I've been unmotivated to do anything. Connor has had a headache and come to think of it, so have I. Rhiannon has been doing things that just aren't very nice to her sister. And Alanna has been peeing in her bed every night. Tommy had the glimmer of hope that he could come home this evening and that was quickly squelched when he got into work today. So the slight happiness I was feeling about him coming home early is gone as well. My Dr. and I changed my medication. It was obviously a bad idea b/c I feel like crap. I feel like I'm crashing and burning. And now that we are fixing it, it isn't fixing fast enough. I may as well be in bed with my PJ's on b/c I'm not being productive. The house is a wreck. And I don't care. I mean the laundry is up to date and there isn't stuff all over the place. But I'd like to clean my floors. And clean up the playroom. But I have no motivation to do so. I miss Tommy and so do the kids. We want him to be home and he never is. A weekend flies by so fast. So yea, I'm depressed. Plus we have no money for anything. We've been broke for a while but I can't afford to finish Christmas shopping for Connor and Alanna. It's sad when your kids Christmas suffers simply b/c you have trouble making ends meet. We finished for Rhiannon months ago but it was hard to buy for Connor and Alanna this year. Rhiannon still wants a Mr. Magoriam's Wonder Emporium sock monkey. That is the one thing we didn't get her that she wanted. We got her everything else she could want. Now we still have to worry about getting Connor the nice wood chess set with the drawer in the base. And maybe getting Alanna some disney fairy stuff. Connor also really wants a digital camera. And I've been looking at the less expensive ones but haven't been able to pick one up. Alanna has a click-start and I wanted to get her another game for it b/c she loves it. And she has a Leapster 2 that I thought she would enjoy another game for. If only Tommy's company would stop making them sit in a hotel room with nothing to do and let them make 40 hours.... or more.... it would be helpful to our budget. Ah well... that's my life today. And I actually feel a little bit better now.
Love and Hugs,
Chelley
Love and Hugs,
Chelley
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Good News!
Will's dad has been moved to a rehab center! He is stable and doing better! This is great news. He has been in the hospital for three weeks so this is a good thing. He has been getting a little bit stronger and feeling better. He had his first radiation treatment yesterday as well. Things are looking up! I can't help but feel optimistic about what lies ahead when things are going so well right now with Will's dad. No one is allowed to pop my bubble. I'm allowed to live in it! It's making me happy right now. And we all can use some happy in these hard times. So, nyah.... that's that.
Tommy, Rhiannon and I went to the viewing for Harry, Rhiannon's great grandfather. The only thing that upset Tommy and I was that people kept saying, "Oh, this is Samantha's daughter." We didn't cause a scene and say no she's not but we both wanted to. Rhiannon is technically by birth Samantha's daughter and that's what made her related to Harry which is why we were there which is why we kept our mouths closed. No one there except Susan and Travis know the truth about what is really going on so we felt it best to not cause a scene. However, Rhiannon did call me mommy and Samantha made it clear that she didn't want to see Rhiannon so she left as soon as she was asked. Then we brought Rhiannon in. We had it planned that way since we did not want Samantha and Rhiannon to see one another. But when we found out Samantha felt the same way it just justified everything that we wrote in our letter to Susan.
We tried to be factual about it. We tried to not be attacking but honest. I don't know if that worked out but we'll find out if she ever contacts us about it. Tommy got Travis' number. That is Samantha's brother. He apparently isn't to happy with his sister either. It seems that no one in that family can deal with her either. We were received well and people were nice to us all. That was comforting I guess you could say. We are apprehensive about other meetings but are willing to try if things continue to go well.
Connor and Rhiannon got their report cards home yesterday! Connor brought home straight A's again! He is doing very well in all subjects but is still having problems focusing and staying on task without bothering friends. We are working on that. Connor's AR tests are just great! He has a 99.3 average on them. He's had 100's on all of them and a 90 on one. So he is soaring right along with them. Rhiannon brought home all B's and one A! She needs to work on time management but is doing well in all other areas! Rhiannon's AR tests are at about an 83. She is having some trouble with comprehension but we are working on getting her to bring home her library books and read them at home and at school hoping she will comprehend them better if she reads them more times. All in all the kids did very well with their report cards!
I am finishing up some swaps on swap-bot and working on feeling better. Alanna and I stayed home today. We both have a cold and are kind of losing our voices. They aren't all gone but they aren't all there either. She has been having a hard time with her sleep and sniffles so I let her sleep this morning. She slept until 10:30 and then layed on the couch with me until 11am. Then she proceeded to get on the kitchen table, naked and walk back and forth. I explained to her that she's not a stripper and she needed to get down. She said she likes being on the table. I said I don't care we don't walk on tables, get down. She got down. But really, that child just defies me to the core! It's her joy! I truly believe she thinks of ways to drive me nuts and plans them out and then does them. And when she isn't doing that, she's so exhausted, she's sleeping! But what can I say? I love her! She makes me nuts but I love her! Connor and Rhiannon too. They are my babies. They grow up too fast!
Connor will be 8 in 12 days! He is counting the days. I remember doing that. And how excited I was. I was truly thrilled when my birthday came around. I think it was for the presents, not b/c I was another year older. Now with my own kids, I dread their birthdays b/c it means they are growing up and I wish they would just stay little. I have this unnatural desire for them to stay little so I can enjoy them longer. Is that weird? Maybe not. But it actually physically depresses me to watch them grow up. I have an ache in my heart when I think about my baby being 8 years old. I think about him being born and it makes me cry. Not b/c I am not happy, I am but time has gotten away from me and I don't know where it went. And I feel like even though I'm here everyday, I'm missing the precious things in their lives. That couldn't possibly be true but I feel like it is. They just grow up too fast and time flies. I wish time would just stand still for a while.
Ah well, As I say that I also seem to be wishing away a week at a time b/c Tommy is yet again away. He is gone Monday through Friday. And being a single parent is hard. I have my mom helping me with the kids when she can but it's tough to have no one here at night with you. I miss having him here and when you are just trying to get through another day it's hard to enjoy the time you have. I need to stop doing that. I need to enjoy the time I have and work on that. Maybe Tommy will get some work in town sometime soon. It would be nice.
Anyways, not much else going on. We are just hanging out and getting through the day. Connor and I will be visiting Will's dad this afternoon. Then Connor's popcorn order came in so we have to go and get that too! And then we will be delivering those. It will be a nice night. And tomorrow too! Talk soon.
Love and Hugs,
Chelley
Tommy, Rhiannon and I went to the viewing for Harry, Rhiannon's great grandfather. The only thing that upset Tommy and I was that people kept saying, "Oh, this is Samantha's daughter." We didn't cause a scene and say no she's not but we both wanted to. Rhiannon is technically by birth Samantha's daughter and that's what made her related to Harry which is why we were there which is why we kept our mouths closed. No one there except Susan and Travis know the truth about what is really going on so we felt it best to not cause a scene. However, Rhiannon did call me mommy and Samantha made it clear that she didn't want to see Rhiannon so she left as soon as she was asked. Then we brought Rhiannon in. We had it planned that way since we did not want Samantha and Rhiannon to see one another. But when we found out Samantha felt the same way it just justified everything that we wrote in our letter to Susan.
We tried to be factual about it. We tried to not be attacking but honest. I don't know if that worked out but we'll find out if she ever contacts us about it. Tommy got Travis' number. That is Samantha's brother. He apparently isn't to happy with his sister either. It seems that no one in that family can deal with her either. We were received well and people were nice to us all. That was comforting I guess you could say. We are apprehensive about other meetings but are willing to try if things continue to go well.
Connor and Rhiannon got their report cards home yesterday! Connor brought home straight A's again! He is doing very well in all subjects but is still having problems focusing and staying on task without bothering friends. We are working on that. Connor's AR tests are just great! He has a 99.3 average on them. He's had 100's on all of them and a 90 on one. So he is soaring right along with them. Rhiannon brought home all B's and one A! She needs to work on time management but is doing well in all other areas! Rhiannon's AR tests are at about an 83. She is having some trouble with comprehension but we are working on getting her to bring home her library books and read them at home and at school hoping she will comprehend them better if she reads them more times. All in all the kids did very well with their report cards!
I am finishing up some swaps on swap-bot and working on feeling better. Alanna and I stayed home today. We both have a cold and are kind of losing our voices. They aren't all gone but they aren't all there either. She has been having a hard time with her sleep and sniffles so I let her sleep this morning. She slept until 10:30 and then layed on the couch with me until 11am. Then she proceeded to get on the kitchen table, naked and walk back and forth. I explained to her that she's not a stripper and she needed to get down. She said she likes being on the table. I said I don't care we don't walk on tables, get down. She got down. But really, that child just defies me to the core! It's her joy! I truly believe she thinks of ways to drive me nuts and plans them out and then does them. And when she isn't doing that, she's so exhausted, she's sleeping! But what can I say? I love her! She makes me nuts but I love her! Connor and Rhiannon too. They are my babies. They grow up too fast!
Connor will be 8 in 12 days! He is counting the days. I remember doing that. And how excited I was. I was truly thrilled when my birthday came around. I think it was for the presents, not b/c I was another year older. Now with my own kids, I dread their birthdays b/c it means they are growing up and I wish they would just stay little. I have this unnatural desire for them to stay little so I can enjoy them longer. Is that weird? Maybe not. But it actually physically depresses me to watch them grow up. I have an ache in my heart when I think about my baby being 8 years old. I think about him being born and it makes me cry. Not b/c I am not happy, I am but time has gotten away from me and I don't know where it went. And I feel like even though I'm here everyday, I'm missing the precious things in their lives. That couldn't possibly be true but I feel like it is. They just grow up too fast and time flies. I wish time would just stand still for a while.
Ah well, As I say that I also seem to be wishing away a week at a time b/c Tommy is yet again away. He is gone Monday through Friday. And being a single parent is hard. I have my mom helping me with the kids when she can but it's tough to have no one here at night with you. I miss having him here and when you are just trying to get through another day it's hard to enjoy the time you have. I need to stop doing that. I need to enjoy the time I have and work on that. Maybe Tommy will get some work in town sometime soon. It would be nice.
Anyways, not much else going on. We are just hanging out and getting through the day. Connor and I will be visiting Will's dad this afternoon. Then Connor's popcorn order came in so we have to go and get that too! And then we will be delivering those. It will be a nice night. And tomorrow too! Talk soon.
Love and Hugs,
Chelley
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Another unexpected turn of events....
So Tommy got a call last night.... it was from Samantha's mother. Well that's weird b/c we haven't heard from her, her daughter or anyone in that family in almost 2 years! And it's kinda creepy to think that someone is out of your life and then realize you may have to worry about them again. I mean we have been over Samantha. She is buried and in the past for us. We are working on an adoption and a huge party which you know you are all invited to when it finally happens! It will be Rhiannon's second birthday! But ah, well you all know this already. Back to why she called.
Her father passed away. Yes, Rhiannon's great grandfather. And after much debating and talking by Tommy and myself we decided to go to the viewing as they are called down here. And then we also decided I should call Samantha's mother and talk to her. I mean I don't know her but what the hell. What could it hurt right? I don't know if she thought we would come or not but I informed her that we wanted to come. At first we thought it would be all five of us but with what is going on with Bill we are not taking Connor. And my mom offered to watch Alanna. So it will just be me, Rhiannon and Tommy. That's fine.
But me and her get to talking. And apparently just about everything that has gone on over the last 8 years(ya know including the pregnancy) Samantha has lied to her about. And I'm telling her um no, we never did that, no she never tried to do that, no that never happened, etc. And the whole conversation goes like that. Meanwhile somewhere in the middle of all this she informs me that she thought about fighting me for custody of my daughter. And I was a little surprised. I answered nicely but now that I think about it I realize that she didn't think it through. And she didn't think about the court system either. Why would she fight me? I have no legal right's to Rhiannon right now. Tommy does. All the fighting in the world would get her nowhere b/c I am the wrong person to fight. And even so, why would you want to fight her mother? I have never done anything to you. I have always taken care of Rhiannon. In fact while Samantha has been off avoiding parenthood like it's the bubonic plague I have been enjoying the pleasure of three beautiful children that I couldn't love more if I tried. I love them so much it hurts. Yes them frustrate me from time to time but what child doesn't frustrate their mommy sometimes?
So it got Tommy and I to thinking. If Samantha's mother wants any kind of relationship with Rhiannon or with us, which she said she did, then we need to set her straight. We needed to let her know what has really been going on the last 8 years. B/c we can't enter into a false situation with someone who may just decide that they are going to act on something that makes no sense. So tonight I sit down at my puter and start to type. I get 7 pages into a very informative letter. But to be honest some parts were kind of harsh and where it wasn't harsh it was kind of broken up and bounced around. Word craps out on me! I was pissed off! I told Tommy it was my draft but I didn't mean I wanted to erase it! Ok I had to start from scratch now.
I start over. And nine pages later I have what I think is a very informative yet honest letter from Tommy and I. We sat on the phone and worked through it together. Then I typed it up. It took me a long while but there were quite a few things that we felt that we needed to be clear on. Especially if we are building a relationship that has been built so far off of lies.
So we are hoping that after she sees what Rhiannon's life was like, from the view of her parents. The ones that have had to care from her from a baby.... that maybe she will see where things may have gone wrong. And maybe she can set the record straight on what we were told about her too. It's not like that lie didn't come full circle. But hey, we may find out it wasn't a lie. We don't know. It is worth the time to us to find out though. We are looking out for Rhiannon's best interests and the best interests of our whole family. And to do that we need to get to the bottom of all of this to start fresh otherwise, why bother, right??
So here's to hoping kids! Maybe we will gain a new person in our family or maybe this will be another mess to clean up. We shall see where this adventure takes us! But lets hope the adventure is worth our while! And for my childrens sake lets hope its low key. They have enough drama in their lives. If you know more, we'll chat.
Love and Hugs,
Chelley
Her father passed away. Yes, Rhiannon's great grandfather. And after much debating and talking by Tommy and myself we decided to go to the viewing as they are called down here. And then we also decided I should call Samantha's mother and talk to her. I mean I don't know her but what the hell. What could it hurt right? I don't know if she thought we would come or not but I informed her that we wanted to come. At first we thought it would be all five of us but with what is going on with Bill we are not taking Connor. And my mom offered to watch Alanna. So it will just be me, Rhiannon and Tommy. That's fine.
But me and her get to talking. And apparently just about everything that has gone on over the last 8 years(ya know including the pregnancy) Samantha has lied to her about. And I'm telling her um no, we never did that, no she never tried to do that, no that never happened, etc. And the whole conversation goes like that. Meanwhile somewhere in the middle of all this she informs me that she thought about fighting me for custody of my daughter. And I was a little surprised. I answered nicely but now that I think about it I realize that she didn't think it through. And she didn't think about the court system either. Why would she fight me? I have no legal right's to Rhiannon right now. Tommy does. All the fighting in the world would get her nowhere b/c I am the wrong person to fight. And even so, why would you want to fight her mother? I have never done anything to you. I have always taken care of Rhiannon. In fact while Samantha has been off avoiding parenthood like it's the bubonic plague I have been enjoying the pleasure of three beautiful children that I couldn't love more if I tried. I love them so much it hurts. Yes them frustrate me from time to time but what child doesn't frustrate their mommy sometimes?
So it got Tommy and I to thinking. If Samantha's mother wants any kind of relationship with Rhiannon or with us, which she said she did, then we need to set her straight. We needed to let her know what has really been going on the last 8 years. B/c we can't enter into a false situation with someone who may just decide that they are going to act on something that makes no sense. So tonight I sit down at my puter and start to type. I get 7 pages into a very informative letter. But to be honest some parts were kind of harsh and where it wasn't harsh it was kind of broken up and bounced around. Word craps out on me! I was pissed off! I told Tommy it was my draft but I didn't mean I wanted to erase it! Ok I had to start from scratch now.
I start over. And nine pages later I have what I think is a very informative yet honest letter from Tommy and I. We sat on the phone and worked through it together. Then I typed it up. It took me a long while but there were quite a few things that we felt that we needed to be clear on. Especially if we are building a relationship that has been built so far off of lies.
So we are hoping that after she sees what Rhiannon's life was like, from the view of her parents. The ones that have had to care from her from a baby.... that maybe she will see where things may have gone wrong. And maybe she can set the record straight on what we were told about her too. It's not like that lie didn't come full circle. But hey, we may find out it wasn't a lie. We don't know. It is worth the time to us to find out though. We are looking out for Rhiannon's best interests and the best interests of our whole family. And to do that we need to get to the bottom of all of this to start fresh otherwise, why bother, right??
So here's to hoping kids! Maybe we will gain a new person in our family or maybe this will be another mess to clean up. We shall see where this adventure takes us! But lets hope the adventure is worth our while! And for my childrens sake lets hope its low key. They have enough drama in their lives. If you know more, we'll chat.
Love and Hugs,
Chelley
Friday, November 7, 2008
Hard days to come....
So how do I start this? My father in law has cancer. Stage four unbeatable cancer.... It is overtaking his body very quickly for the amount of time we have known about it. When Will told me that his dad was in the hospital I was surprised but never thought it was this bad. Then we found out about the lung and spinal cancer. And to make a very long story short, then he lost motor function in his lower extremities. Paralysis was setting in. He had emergency surgery to restore function on Monday morning. It was a slight success! However, a disoriented man who dislikes being in the hospital and dislikes being sick does not want to stay there. And right now he has to. Connor, Tommy and I will be going to visit him tonight.
As I sit here and write this my kids are in the living room watching cartoons, being kids. Doing what any kids should be doing. The only real difference is that my 7 year old is learning about cancer. The ill effects of what smoking can do to your body and other bad things that we sometimes do to ourselves. I bought him two great workbooks to use that are very helpful with learning and dealing with cancer for kids of family members with cancer. Connor has been enjoying doing them and working on his feelings. He has some great ideas! And keeping his spirits up is what matters right now. If I have to watch my son deal with this I will do what I can to ease his pain and suffering.
For those of you who don't know this person I speak of... he is wonderful, kind and loving. He has truly been a kind soul throughout his life. He has helped countless people through their very own loss and now we must help one another through what is to come. I know I cannot rely on anyone else to make me feel better but I can try and and talk through my hurt so that I can be there for my son. It is just a hard road to navigate especially while teaching a child about disease and dying. I truly hope that everyone who this post touches is in good health today! And please cherish the time you have with the people you love. It sometimes ends far quicker than you ever expected, without much warning and leaving a wake of destruction in it's path.
Even if he cannot be there, we are planning a very happy event in January. Our family baptism! We are working on getting a few people here so that the kids can have godparents but we have run into some hiccups. It seems that bad things are happening everywhere. Either way myself and the kids (and maybe even Tommy) will be getting baptized in January. It will be an event I have looked forward to for quite some time! All three of my children will finally be officially walking with God and in the grace of Jesus. I really am happy about this. There has been a lot of turmoil surrounding our lives over the last year and there is obviously more to come in the next few months, however there is this glimmer of light that I can hang onto.
I hope each of you have a glimmer of light. I know right now I need that glimmer. Smile and hope for the best!
Love and Hugs,
Chelley
As I sit here and write this my kids are in the living room watching cartoons, being kids. Doing what any kids should be doing. The only real difference is that my 7 year old is learning about cancer. The ill effects of what smoking can do to your body and other bad things that we sometimes do to ourselves. I bought him two great workbooks to use that are very helpful with learning and dealing with cancer for kids of family members with cancer. Connor has been enjoying doing them and working on his feelings. He has some great ideas! And keeping his spirits up is what matters right now. If I have to watch my son deal with this I will do what I can to ease his pain and suffering.
For those of you who don't know this person I speak of... he is wonderful, kind and loving. He has truly been a kind soul throughout his life. He has helped countless people through their very own loss and now we must help one another through what is to come. I know I cannot rely on anyone else to make me feel better but I can try and and talk through my hurt so that I can be there for my son. It is just a hard road to navigate especially while teaching a child about disease and dying. I truly hope that everyone who this post touches is in good health today! And please cherish the time you have with the people you love. It sometimes ends far quicker than you ever expected, without much warning and leaving a wake of destruction in it's path.
Even if he cannot be there, we are planning a very happy event in January. Our family baptism! We are working on getting a few people here so that the kids can have godparents but we have run into some hiccups. It seems that bad things are happening everywhere. Either way myself and the kids (and maybe even Tommy) will be getting baptized in January. It will be an event I have looked forward to for quite some time! All three of my children will finally be officially walking with God and in the grace of Jesus. I really am happy about this. There has been a lot of turmoil surrounding our lives over the last year and there is obviously more to come in the next few months, however there is this glimmer of light that I can hang onto.
I hope each of you have a glimmer of light. I know right now I need that glimmer. Smile and hope for the best!
Love and Hugs,
Chelley
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
A new day and a new president!
I have to say... in our home we are very excited about the turn of events that happened in yesterdays history. It was literally history! And I am so proud to say that it was my very first time ever to vote, I voted for the right guys and he won! Yay! I think that this will be a good thing. People can make whatever accusations that they want but in the end, we needed a change.... it will be a good thing for our country to have a change. 8 freaking years of the guy who should have come out in the 10 gallon hat, spurs and a six shooter are coming to an end and I couldn't be happier for that.(I will thank Will for that little funny anecdote.) He may have done some things worth writing home about but in the long run he continued to make war and kill innocent people. I think that every few years you need to change it up and shake the nation to it's core.... HELLO OBAMA! Welcome to the presidency. I hope you do us proud.... we could use some goos old proud around here. And some honesty and some hope. You're it, make it happen!
So my wonderful 7 year old son was thrilled that Obama won. My 31 year old husband cried like a baby that Obama won. My ex-husband was clearly thrilled that history is in the making. And me, I am just happy for a change. A change I believe is for the better.
Rhiannon and I have our eye Dr. appt. tomorrow morning. We have to take Alanna to school and rush to the eye Dr. I then get to pay $80 for us both to see the Dr. And tell us we both need new glasses. Thanks for that Mr. I would have never known without his expertise that I'm like a blind bat and that my daughter is getting there too! She tried to hide it and trips over her own feet every other step! I just need the scrip. But no, I have to have our eyes puffed and dialated and then tested twice. Once we are done with that they will give us that magical piece of paper that will in the end cost me $100 for Rhiannon and $180 for me. Since we cannot afford glasses at all we will get Rhiannon's tomorrow b/c she now has none. Both pairs broke. Her regular pair and her older pair that she was wearing as back-up. So I have to find the $100 but my daughter comes first and we are determined for her to not go another day without glasses. We know where to get them inexpensive however that may mean waiting 2 weeks. I hate to do that to her but we need to be cost effective and do waht's right for her. We'll work it out. Then comes my turn. Maybe I will get glasses for Christmas! We shall see! Anyways.... that's our day in a nutshell!
Hugs and Love!
Chelley
So my wonderful 7 year old son was thrilled that Obama won. My 31 year old husband cried like a baby that Obama won. My ex-husband was clearly thrilled that history is in the making. And me, I am just happy for a change. A change I believe is for the better.
Rhiannon and I have our eye Dr. appt. tomorrow morning. We have to take Alanna to school and rush to the eye Dr. I then get to pay $80 for us both to see the Dr. And tell us we both need new glasses. Thanks for that Mr. I would have never known without his expertise that I'm like a blind bat and that my daughter is getting there too! She tried to hide it and trips over her own feet every other step! I just need the scrip. But no, I have to have our eyes puffed and dialated and then tested twice. Once we are done with that they will give us that magical piece of paper that will in the end cost me $100 for Rhiannon and $180 for me. Since we cannot afford glasses at all we will get Rhiannon's tomorrow b/c she now has none. Both pairs broke. Her regular pair and her older pair that she was wearing as back-up. So I have to find the $100 but my daughter comes first and we are determined for her to not go another day without glasses. We know where to get them inexpensive however that may mean waiting 2 weeks. I hate to do that to her but we need to be cost effective and do waht's right for her. We'll work it out. Then comes my turn. Maybe I will get glasses for Christmas! We shall see! Anyways.... that's our day in a nutshell!
Hugs and Love!
Chelley
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